Gaza Under Attack – Pray For Gaza

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Read more about what’s going on in Palestine! Be up to date with what Israel is doing to those innocent people. They’re bombing houses. They’re killing children and women. This isn’t a war, this is genocide!

Raise the awareness! Let the world know the truth!

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On your birthday, mama

 

On your birthday, mama I have to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. You were always there, no matter what. You’ve adviced me well. You’ve taken care of me. You’ve supported me no matter what. You’ve forgiven me even when I’ve done some mistakes. You’ve never forgotten about me.. you’ve always loved me.

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On your birthday, mama I have to tell you that you’re the most important person to me. That I love you the most. That I give my life for you and that everything I do, I do it for you.. I do it for you to be proud of me and be happy.

You’re a strong woman and I wanna be like you. I wanna have your attitude. I wanna have your successes. I learned from you that I have to work hard in order to achieve something and I’m willing to do that. I want you to see that I can do that! I want you to see that I will reach my goals, despite the obstacles that I will encounter.

On your birthday, mama I have to say that I really miss you. It’s been the first birthday in 8 years when I’m not with you and it is not a nice feeling. To be honest, I don’t feel like getting out of bed. I wanna see you. I wanna hug you. I wanna give you gifts. I wanna cook for you.. as I always do. But I can’t, I have to wait until my birthday. And this makes me sad. But with God’s will, this won’t happen anymore. With God’s will, I will reach up there, where I want and things will be different.

On your birthday, mama I want to wish you more, more, more years to come. May God keep you strong and healthy for me.. for us. Because I need you to go on. I need to know that you’re there to congratulate me if I do something good. I need to know that you’re there to tell me when I do something wrong.

 

“In every smile, every tear and every cheer you were always there for me through the years supporting me and providing me with all the energy I needed in order to stand in the game called life.”

“No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I would never be able to show you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You are my hero, you are my strength.”

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“My life has been blessed by having a mother like you. You pray for me, you love me, and you’re there to support all that I do.”

“You’ve seen me happy, you’ve seen me sad, you’ve seen me reasonable, you’ve seen me mad. Mom I may not have always said it, but you are the most beloved. Happy Birthday Mom!”

Happy Birthday mother! I love you!

What is life? What is destiny?

turkey

 

What is life? What is destiny?

 

These are only two of the questions that go through my mind at the moment. What made me think of this? Music. Listening to the proper music can get you really philosophical. But let’s be serious for a while.

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Are we given this life for a reason? Do we have a scope in our lives? Does God puts us on this Earth in order to do something? Or is our existance just a waste of time?

 

I’m 100% Romanian, but when I was very little I fell in love with the Orient and everything that has to do with that part of the world, from the religion, to the culture and traditions. I kept listening to Arabic music and I have to confess that I was often watching Turkish movies, those kind of music where you could see all the traditional things. I liked reading about that. I simply fell in love.

 

 

 

And then mum left to Kuwait, a small country in the Middle East. That was when my dream came true. I was even closer to the world that I was attracted too. There was a lot of visiting before actually moving there. The buildings, the palm trees, the prayer call which could be heard 5 times a day, the people, the air.. everything was different. Everything was the way I liked it. Everything was the way I was dreaming.

 

Colourfull clothes.. jewelry.. perfumes.. elegance.. 

 

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It really attracted me. There was a different scent in the air. The scent of the world I liked.

I learned how to belly dance. I learned Arabic and a couple of words in Turkish. I read about the history.. I tried to copy the style. I put on the hijab to see how it looks like. I listened to the prayers.. I read the Qur’an to see what are the differences, but even the similarities between that and the Bible.

 

Is it wrong for a westerner to feel all that? Is it weird?

 

 

I get along better with foreigners than with people from my own country. I get along better with people from that part of the world. I visted it and it felt like I was home. I can actually see myself live there. I can see myself integrate so well in those places, between those people.

 

What will I do in life? Where will I be? What will happen to me?

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Did God send me here, on this Earth to live there? To make connections between the world I was born in and the world I love? Is this my destiny?

 

I don’t know at the moment. I will meditate, look within myself.. think carefully, listen to my inner voice.. trust myself and never lie to myself. And I am proud of what I feel. No matter what others think or even say, I am proud to feel all these things. This is who I am. This is how God made me..

 

A hidden fire..

 

A hidden fire..

 

A hidden fire burns perpetually upon the hearth of the world…. In autumn this great conflagration becomes especially manifest. Then the flame that is slowly and mysteriously consuming every green thing bursts into vivid radiance. Every blade of grass and every leaf in the woodlands is cast into the great oven of Nature; and the bright colours of their fading are literally the flames of their consuming. The golden harvest-fields are glowing in the heart of the furnace…. By this autumn fire God every year purges the floor of nature. All effete substances that have served their purpose in the old form are burnt up. Everywhere God makes sweet and clean the earth with fire.

– Hugh Macmillan

A letter to Romania

 

Dear Romania,

 

I’m Alexandra ***, your citizen since 1993, but who left you in 2005 to live in Kuwait. I don’t remember much from the period before I left, or maybe I do, but nothing important really happened as I was too small to care anyway.

I grew up in a place where life is much easier. I grew up in a place where children, as I was when I went there, were deeply respected and treated really well. I grew up in a place where Westerners like me, were seen really good. There was no problem. I made friends. I got to know people. Kuwait became my home. I knew all the places, even the smallest streets. I never wanted to leave the country.

But university time came and my parents convinced me to come back to you. Although at first I didn’t want it, I decided to give it a try and show them that I can manage anywhere, even here by your side, where I knew nothing. I didn’t know how life was. I didn’t know how the people were.

Here with you, I’ve encountered many problems, but I didn’t want to give up. It all started when I wanted to enroll in one of your universities. Because I’ve studied in Kuwait, in a British system I lost the first admission session due to my late results. I was about to loose the second one too, but thankfully the dean of the university I am in, deeply supported me.

Your people are bad. They’re selfish. They don’t care about the ones around them, they just care about themselves. Your people are not like the ones I’m used to. They’re not warm and supportive. They see you naive and innocent and the first though they get is ‘how can I use this person?! Suck them up of all their resources, of all their energy!’ or at least this is what I feel.

During the time spent with you, this feeling grew stronger. I’ve felt this even more, because all I did was meet those kind of people. Those kind of people who would see me as a nice person, who cares about her ‘friends’. They came along, used what and how they could and threw me off to the garbage.

Why?

Because your people still have a lot to learn. Because your people lived through tough times, which made them act like animals in a jungle.. who kills first, survives.

Moreover, I’ve seen who is worth being called a friend and who isn’t. There were similar events in Kuwait too, but it was different. Or at least, it seemed different. Things weren’t so harsh. Things weren’t like this. Everyone would jump in to help you if you needed anything. Everyone would be there to support you.. there were my bestest friends.

Why do you have to mistreat your citizens who left you? Is it like a revenge? Are you not treating them equally just because they left you? Shouldn’t you treat them the same like the ones who stayed? Shouldn’t you be proud that for a reason or another they have returned?

Instead of making them feel good that they came back to you, you’re making them regret the moment they’ve crossed your border. 

Why?

People are making fun of them. Looking weird at them. Looking as if they were some kind of aliens. Well, to them, they are. Just because they lived in another place for so long and came back..

The authorities are not taking them into consideration, unless the President needs support. When he does so, the state, your leaders, remember that there are some people outside your borders who can be helpful.

Why?

Your police has no ideea about rules given by organisations, agencies and so on. They don’t know whether a passport is good or not, for example (as it happened in my situation). But we, as your citizens and people who didn’t live close by you, have to pay money for that, have to pay taxes and we loose it all in the end.

Is it fair? Why?

How do we feel when we come back to you and this is how we are treated?

How do I feel when I come here, I study, I put all my power and knowledge into your university, into you, as a country and I for example reach the airport and I get told I can’t travel to Kuwait because I have a temporary passport? Funny thing that your police has no idea and it is all due to the great, Turkish Airlines. Even more funny is that your embassy in Kuwait (who’s made up of great people, really), says that it is like this for those people who have no one in Kuwait and have no connection with the country, not for me, who has lived there for about half of my life.

How to feel when at first I’m so excited about leaving, seeing my family there, my friends.. the places and then I just can’t?

How?

How is that?

Is this equality?

No.

The lifestyle of the people who live or lived outside you, and came back, whether they came back for good or for a limited period, is not the same with the lifestyle of the people who did not leave you. 

 

 

With love, but sadness,

Alexandra.

A very nationalistic citizen, who loves you more than anything and who is very proud with you, but who is hurt and disappointed by the treatment she receives here.

 

Family..

Family..

“Family – We argue, we fall out, we make up, we love, we don’t speak, we chat for hours, we are family. We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.”

Tomorrow is the big day.. going home and I’m the happiest person ever. I cannot wait until I go back and be with my family!

 

What home means to me

 

What home means to me

“Home is a name, a word, it is a strong
one; stronger than magician
ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to,
in the strongest conjuration.”

– Charles Dickens

This is what home means to me. The place where my mother is. The place where my baby sister is. The place where my gorgeous pets are. The orange couch, my bed, my bathroom. What home means to me? – Kuwait. And I will be there in 4 days!

Autumn begins with..

 

Autumn begins with..

 

“Autumn begins with a subtle change in the light, with skies a deeper blue, and nights that become suddenly clear and chilled. The season comes full with the first frost, the disappearance of migrant birds, and the harvesting of the season’s last crops.”

– Glenn Wolff and Jerry Dennis

Would you save my soul tonight..?

 

As you may think, Enrique Iglesias’ song, Hero inspired me to write this post.

I’m listening to it and thinking… 

 

 

… thinking how much we miss some memories, some things that happened to you, some things which you’d love to go through again. They may have ended nicely, or in a bad way. That however, doesn’t matter. You miss them. The times. The people.. or just the person.

 

This isn’t a typical love post. Not at all. This may seem familiar to people who miss their other halves, their siblings.. or to people who are just feeling a little bit emotional.*

 

To me, it is a post which shows how much I miss all my dear ones, starting with my parents, sister and other family members. I miss a man too, but I would prefer to not write about it. I don’t like showing my weaknesses, but even the strongest ones have their moments too.

No, I’m not feeling down. I am feeling great. I am happy. Life is good (al7amdellah, thank God!) but I am having a moment which gets me thinking a little bit.

It’s one of those moments when I live once again the nice times.. when I live through the moments.. when I go back in time for a short while.

Going back home in less than 5 days. Will be seeing everyone veeery soon! But things won’t be the same. There is something missing, more like someone. But it’s alright. God knows why He does certain things. There’s a reason for everything. We may not know it at first, but at some point we will find out. 

My advice to you is to stay strong.. appreciate the people, the moment. Live the moment. Give love and respect. It’s better to regret something you have done, than regret something you didn’t do. 

 

Have a great weekend and God bless! 🙂 

 

 

* I hate it how emo derives from emotional, because I think being emotional is rather nice and cute, while this whole ’emo’ fashion is just a trend.. something to show off, to seek attention.

 

& I’m the happiest person alive

 

Yesterday I had a small breakdown.. was sitting on the floor, listening to slow, meditation music and I was crying while praying to God to protect me and my family. To forgive our sins, to keep us healthy and help us in our lives. I was asking Him to please make things work out for me, because for the past week I’ve been rather upset and stressed out.

This is interrupted by mum going online on Facebook. When I saw her name pop up there, started crying even more and asked her to call me. On the phone I was telling her how much I miss home, how badly I want to come home. How much I miss everything about that place. However, by the end of the phone call, she calmed me down. Nothing new, was going home in December.

Started talking to friends.. more relaxing songs.. mum pops up again.

 

“Do you want to come to Kuwait next Thursday?”

Are you kidding me mum! Of course I want! This is my biggest wish, to be home. To see the places. The people. 

 

So here I am, leaving back home on the 10th this month for about 3 weeks. Will be there for mama’s birthday too, which makes me so happy, because even last year I was on her birthday too. Moreover, when I get there it’s 3eed holiday. This will make it easier for me to see my friends too. I will go everywhere.. see everyone.. satisfy all my food cravings.

 

God, you’re the greatest and I am the happiest person alive!

 

I thank You God every day, I thank You for all the things you do to me. My life was, is and will always be in Your hands. You know better than me what to do with it.

 

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Wa6ani, ya Kuwait! ❤