What is life? What is destiny?
These are only two of the questions that go through my mind at the moment. What made me think of this? Music. Listening to the proper music can get you really philosophical. But let’s be serious for a while.
Are we given this life for a reason? Do we have a scope in our lives? Does God puts us on this Earth in order to do something? Or is our existance just a waste of time?
I’m 100% Romanian, but when I was very little I fell in love with the Orient and everything that has to do with that part of the world, from the religion, to the culture and traditions. I kept listening to Arabic music and I have to confess that I was often watching Turkish movies, those kind of music where you could see all the traditional things. I liked reading about that. I simply fell in love.
And then mum left to Kuwait, a small country in the Middle East. That was when my dream came true. I was even closer to the world that I was attracted too. There was a lot of visiting before actually moving there. The buildings, the palm trees, the prayer call which could be heard 5 times a day, the people, the air.. everything was different. Everything was the way I liked it. Everything was the way I was dreaming.
Colourfull clothes.. jewelry.. perfumes.. elegance..
It really attracted me. There was a different scent in the air. The scent of the world I liked.
I learned how to belly dance. I learned Arabic and a couple of words in Turkish. I read about the history.. I tried to copy the style. I put on the hijab to see how it looks like. I listened to the prayers.. I read the Qur’an to see what are the differences, but even the similarities between that and the Bible.
Is it wrong for a westerner to feel all that? Is it weird?
I get along better with foreigners than with people from my own country. I get along better with people from that part of the world. I visted it and it felt like I was home. I can actually see myself live there. I can see myself integrate so well in those places, between those people.
What will I do in life? Where will I be? What will happen to me?
Did God send me here, on this Earth to live there? To make connections between the world I was born in and the world I love? Is this my destiny?
I don’t know at the moment. I will meditate, look within myself.. think carefully, listen to my inner voice.. trust myself and never lie to myself. And I am proud of what I feel. No matter what others think or even say, I am proud to feel all these things. This is who I am. This is how God made me..