Everyone is leaving. All of us are going separate ways. Some are going to university, some are remaining behind.. one thing is certain, all these people are together in thoughts. Feelings will stay the same, they will keep in touch.. or maybe not. They will remember the things they went through together.. or they will do their best to put them aside.
You might ask yourself why I’m saying all this. No, I’m not heartbroken. No, it has nothing to do with Mr. Lover. This is because my Turkish sister (I think I talked about her before, one of my closest friends) told me that she’s leaving tomorrow. It was very unexpected. I really don’t know how to react to it. We had plans to spend the whole Wednesday together and now, in a second, our plans got destroyed.
It hit me badly. Reality hit me badly. I didn’t want to think about my leaving too much, although I may have mentioned it a lot I some posts. Believe me, I go through the day without thinking that in less than two weeks I will be away from everyone. What she told me, that she’s leaving made me realise that I will leave too. I will leave, so I need to spend as much time as I can with the people I love. I know that it’s normal for ‘the baby birds to fly from their parents’ nest’ but there is a big difference between theory and practice. It’s not as easy. You don’t just open your wings and fly. You have to go through a lot of emotions, pressure..
The good thing is that Mr. Lover is coming to Romania around the middle of July and mama with sister are coming too around the beginning or August. We will spend time together then too and it will be alright. Moreover, mama is also thinking of coming when I start university, because yes, I want my mummy to be there with me and hold my hand in my first day. Don’t laugh, I’m such a kid at heart. Maybe this is why it is so hard for me to go..
I won’t feel anything the whole summer. I will take it as a holiday, but when September and most of all, when October will come, then that is when I will realise that I am not going back. That I am there to stay until the winter holiday. I know I have to get myself busy and I am quite sure that I won’t have to try too hard because I will have to study a lot. But ah, those first days/months, will be hell for me.
That’s why, my advice for everyone who’s leaving for university (or any other kind of leave), spend time with your loved ones as much as you can. Leave your friends. They will forget about you as soon as you go away, but your family, your blood never does. No wonder there’s that quote which says ‘you can’t make water from blood’, or something like that (I know it in Romanian and I hate translating). And once you’re there, take care. People are bad. They will not do you good. They will do everything to hurt you, because they will envy you for things you have.. or even worse, for who you are. Don’t trust too easily. You went there to study, to learn something new, so fill your time with activities related to that.
You can do it. I can too, even though I’m so scared. Everyone can. It just takes a bit of belief, positiveness and most importantly, faith.