I don’t want to go!


Good morning everyone.
Although in general I feel good, I’m still quite emotional. Why? Because the day when I’m traveling is getting closer and closer. I still can’t believe it. I can’t believe that I won’t be coming back. That I’ll be without my mum. That I’ll be without many loved ones. That I’ll be completely alone. Well, I’ll be with dad, but it will still be very hard.

Last night mummy told me that when I’m leaving for the airport, she won’t come with me because she doesn’t want to see me leave. She can’t take it. To be honest, I don’t know whether I want her to come or not, because I still have to say goodbye at home and it will be almost the same. I don’t know how I’ll do it. How will I hug mummy for the last time until winter holiday? How will I kiss my sister? How will I annoy my dogs and cat? It’s hard to do it and even hard to imagine it. I don’t know..

I’ve also just seen the ticket. I didn’t know it’s my ticket, so I wanted to look at it. But when I realised, I put it aside and I reared up. God, give me strength. God, help me.


6 thoughts on “I don’t want to go!

  1. I am sure this will be a heartbreaking good-bye…and I am also sure that your journey will be memorable and wonderful in more ways than you can currently imagine..

    1. Thank you so much for this. Until summer finishes, it will be okay. But when university will start, I’ll get hit by reality, by the fact that I won’t see mummy. 😦

      Thank you again. It means a lot to me!

  2. I used to feel the same way, and so did my sister. We both studied abroad away from our loved ones. But we have never regretted those beautiful years. Its obvious that you are also afraid from your unknown future… that’s how its always is. And when you meet ur mom, it will be twice the fun and she will get to appreciate the new you, that’s what I loved the most when i return… the ‘you lost weight’ or ‘you look different and better’ Comments your mother and your family will pour on you.
    Believe me when I tell you this, you are heading towards an amazing thing, it would be pointless to tell you don’t feel sad… but one day you’ll feel saying that to your self.
    Best of luck… and hope you’ll do well in your major. 🙂

  3. You will be just fine little Miss. To quote one of my favourite movie quotes of all times, ( and I wish you in the shoes of Morgan Freeman )

    “I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.. ”

    You are a free woman for sure… Good luck and god bless 🙂

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