Real love, or just a lie?

“He can’t just stop loving you. He either does, or never had.”

Another great quote on Twitter.

You may wonder why I wanna post about this. It’s because I see so many people complain about their significant one, respectively their ex-significant one not caring, or stopping loving them.

The quote is right. You can’t just stop loving someone if you really loved them. No one and nothing can make you forget about them if it was true love.

If, however, the person does say that they stopped loving you, then they surely didn’t love you in the first place, or they may be lying to you at the moment.

It is not that easy to just forget about someone, because after all you did spend moments together, whether they were good or bad. This can differ from long relationships to shorter one, but the ‘rule’ is always the same:

If you stopped loving, or you forgot things, it’s either you’re lying now or you lied then.

True love is never forgotten, even if at times it is put aside.

Yes, there are different types of love and the ‘love’ at the beginning of the relationship will not be the same with the ‘love’ at the middle, or the end of it. It is normal.

You think those old people who have been married for ages and are dinosaurs when it comes to marriage and stuff, still love each other the same? No. Their relationship, their marriage is now based on respect most of all, not on passion and that burning love that was at the beginning. You think that after being for so long with someone, you still love them the same way? No. You do love them, but the flame of passion and ‘unknown’ is gone. Now it is a calm love, a love that can be expressed in different ways. A more real love, although it may not seem that way.

Yes, people may say ‘I love you’ to some many others and to some extent it may be true, but not always. Love is different. Love is different from a day to the other. Love is different from a year to another. Love is different from an age to  the other. The more time that passes by, the more the intensity of love increases. Another normal thing. People become mature more and more.. and it doesn’t mean that people who are in your life now should compare themselves to people from last year, two years ago, or three and so on. Plus, come on, words are nothing unless they are supported by actions.

It hurts to see a person whom you love, you really do, not understand you fully, not believe in you, not trust you. And yes, you may have made mistakes, but once the other gives you a second chance, that means they should try to get over what you’ve done. It may be hard, but it is not healthy to keep thinking about it. Not healthy for themselves, for yourself, but more importantly for the relationship.

Everyone makes mistakes. Every single person on this Earth. But what matters the most is whether the person learns the  lesson, or not and whether the person regrets what happened from the bottom of their heart, or not.

“Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever.”

– Unknown

 

(this post has been edited since yesterday and was posted again)

6 thoughts on “Real love, or just a lie?

  1. I like this post. It’s quite interesting because as much as we all want to get into the minds of significant others, we cannot. Mind reading would be either detrimental to a relationship or as amazing as the invention of the light bulb. What I think is important to understand is the concept of love. How one person feels about another could be mistaken something different. Their feelings may not even be love, but actually a crush or physical attraction. As a result of this confusion and misinterpretation of their feelings, they value their stance in the relationship as being “in love.” In accordance to the quote, I truly think it’s so hard to forget someone, agreed, but there are circumstances where time and different experiences changes one’s emotional stance towards that person. Yes, you would still love them at some level, but not love love them like at the peak of one’s relationship. So it’d be a perpetual love for someone, or several people if you’ve falling in love multiple times. If this was the case, then how would/could people ever move on and open themselves up to a new person? And would it be considered cheating on someone else if you could never get over the first person you fell in love with? Elaborate more on what you think.

  2. I like what you wrote and I know I must elaborate more what I think, but it was quite late and I was going to bed, but this idea came to me. Thank you for your comments!

  3. I just realized you completed this post, so I apologize if I commented before you planned on finishing it. I think you bring up a really good point about love and respect. Yes, I think the deeper and longer you’re with someone, the more that love turns into respect and a deep sense of oneness. I’ve seen some couples as having one overpowering person, whether it’s the girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband. Meaning, this person, whom acts “better” or “more mature” than the other, it creates this “I’m above you” mentality. So there’s never this feeling of equality and oneness, when a relationship or even a marriage should be all about the affinity of the couple. Just like you said, this affinity doesn’t happen over night. It takes years with one person to really feel this oneness, as a whole single entity, not two separate people. And it’s this notion our world has gotten away from, especially with marriage. With all of the marriage shows on television and obsession with wedding decorating, dresses, processions, etc, this idea of togetherness and celebrating two people conjoining as one has been forgotten, of all the holiest things you can do. Sorry I got off on a tangent. It’s related though, right?! I agree with your statements about how love is different from one day/month/year. But who’s to say it’s suppose to intensify? I’m just playing devils advocate, but isn’t it possible one becomes complacent and comfortable with the relationship, conversely affecting how the other feels? I’ve come to realize, that whoever cares less in a relationship, has the most power. Meaning, the person who cares more will be always putting in more work than the other. I completely agree with your comment about they’re just words, unless they’re backed up by action. So true. And forgiveness is a tough to deal with as well, for both parties. Just like you said, it’s not healthy to dwell on the mistakes, but try to learn from the mistake made. It takes a lot to forgive someone, especially if its something serious. But, how many times can you forgive someone, even if you’ve loved them for so long? Do you have an unlimited amount of “forgiving passes” to give out to loved ones??..What do you think?

  4. What you have talked about at the beginning is related to what I wrote, lol. And to be honest I agree with you. Nowadays marriage is all about wedding, party and stuff. Okay, I want an amazing wedding dress myself with an amazing time on my wedding time, because it happens only once in your life. Or at least, it should happen. All those people on the TV such as Kim Kardashian (I really dislike her) show us what marriage have become in these days. I may say I’m still quite conservative when it comes to this.
    Your other question about intensifying. Theoretically it should happen. However, at times ‘the practice’ happens which is when the relationship gets colder and colder. And this surely affects both people in the relation.
    The last questions have one answer in my opinion, it all depends. It depends on what happens. It depends on how it happens. It depends on the person. It just depends. Personally, I can forgive over and over again, but it doesn’t mean I can forget and I do have my limits and when I reach them, I don’t care what happens anymore. There will be nothing in my heart anymore.. unfortunately.

    Thank you for commenting!

  5. Oh yeah, don’t get me wrong, wedding day is very special for the bride and I’d want to provide whatever my future wife would want on that day. But there’s a line between obsessive and wanting to look beautiful. Plus, it doesn’t matter what you look like, you should be beautiful in your husbands’ eyes either way, right?!

    1. Exactly. No one should exaggerate about their wedding, especially women. I believe it does matter how you look like and I’d personally have to look good for me first, to feel good and then in my husbands’ eyes. But yes, I totally agree with you!

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