I just wanna lay down and stare at the walls..
Do you know this feeling? I bet you do.
Not on of the best days.
Studied the whole day and argued with mum, which is not good, because I totally hate it. When I argue with mum I feel like half of me is gone, because mum and I have a very close connection. I hate arguing with her and although it doesn’t happen too often, when it does, it kills me.
To be honest, we argue over stupid things, without any good reason and I hate that the most. I mean, if it was a good reason, ok.. but this? Nah. I hate. Like what the hell? Can’t we spend this time better? I’m leaving in about 2 months.. I really don’t wanna argue with her (or anyone else).
I have a lot of pressure from my studies because all I do is study. I literally spend the whole day with my books. It’s like I’m eating them. I don’t even drink water, or go to the bathroom. When I study, I study.. nothing else. That’s all I’m concentrating at.
Why? I love it. However, it’s not only this. Both my parents are very intelligent and they’ve done a lot for me, so I wanna study a lot as well and make them proud, but on days like this one I just feel like everything I do is useless, worthless.. and it hurts.
Some may be like what the hell? It’s just an argument with your mother. No, it’s not like this. No one knows how close we are, how conected we are.. a simple argument can really affect me and my whole day because we’re both stubborn and no one wants to give in and start talk to the other..
I can’t stay without talking to her, it kills me inside.. but anyway, it will get better, I know. It always does.
Going back to the weather.. God, it’s SO dusty. Like you can barely breath and the sky is yellow/orange, ew. I hate this kind of weather. It gets me so moody and so emotional, blah. I just wanna cry. Yes, I cry too. I may seem like a person who doesn’t do so, I do.. and when I do, I’m like a baby, I cry until I can’t breath anymore.
Let’s hope tomorrow will be better.
God bless us.