Taking the big step..

So in about 4 months I’ll be going to university.. I’ll be taking a very big step in my life and I must say that I’m very, but VERY scared.

The whole idea of it, is exciting and I can’t wait to have a million books around me; read and study the whole time; learn new things. I love doing this, so I’m quite positive about my university life. I know I’ll be studying a lot, because I want to become someone; I want to do something with my life. I really don’t want to be a useless person who’s just a waste of Oxygen. No way! I can’t be that and I will not be that!

Although I’m a very optimistic person, the idea of going to university does scare me.. a lot!

Just the fact that I’ll be alone. The fact that I’ll have no one with me.. I’ll be ALL alone, all by myself freaks me out. It makes me feel like I wanna run away and never come back. Yes, I’m going back to my country. Yes, I’m going back to people who speak the same language as I do. Yes, I might not be ‘alone’ in the full meaning of the word, but I will be lonely.

Just because I’m Romanian, it doesn’t mean that I’ll feel comfortable. It doesn’t mean that I’ll acommodate easily. I grew up in Kuwait, I haven’t lived there for so long and people are so bad (not only there, everywhere else but I got to a point where I don’t know how THEY are anymore). I don’t know anything there.. I’ll be going to a completely new place.. alone.. by myself.

I don’t like it when I get told ‘oh, it’s fine.. you’re going to your country!’ NO, IT IS NOT FINE! It actually scares me so much! What am I gonna do there if all I know is Kuwait.. Kuwait.. and a bit more of Kuwait? How am I gonna trust people there if I don’t know how to deal with them anymore? How am I going to acommodate if I’ll be all alone?

You may say, ‘ok, she’s exaggerating. She will surely get to know people’. Yes, I will get to know people, but getting to know someone doesn’t mean trust them!

My whole life is in Kuwait.. the most important people are in Kuwait. I have family in Romania, why would I lie about it.. but the MOST IMPORTANT ones are in Kuwait.

I’m scared.. and the fact that my important people might forget about me, or our relation might get cold scares me even more. I’m afraid of losing those important people. I’m just afraid.. scared and don’t blame me for it, because I bet everyone who went to university (in another country) felt the same way.

I’m praying to God that everything will be okay. I’m praying to God that I will succeed in what I want. Because I know how important university is and I’m going there to study, not play around..

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