If you google what is jealousy you will see that there are a lot of forms of jealousy such as sibling rivalry, workplace jealousy, romantic jealousy and platonic jealousy.
There are different scientific definitions for jealousy, but all of them share two basic themes. First, all the definitions imply a triad composed of a jealous individual, a partner, and a perception of a third party or rival. Second, all the definitions describe jealousy as a reaction to a perceived threat to the relationship between two people.
Moreover, in psychology, jealousy also involves an entire emotional episode, including a complex “narrative,”: the circumstances that lead up to jealousy. The narrative can originate from experienced facts, thoughts, perceptions, memories, but also imagination, guess and assumptions.
However, I don’t think we need all these definitions to know what jealousy is, do we? I mean, we’ve all been jealous once, twice, three times or waaaay more in our life. It’s something normal. It’s not only a human thing, it’s an animal thing too. We are all jealous.. from humans to dogs. No, I’m not comparing us to dogs, but I’m trying to show that they are jealous too and it’s normal.
We’ve all got the feeling of wanting to kill someone for talking to the person we love. We’ve all got that annoying feeling when a friend talks to someone knew and we felt left out. And whoever has younger siblings surely got that rivalry feeling I’ve mentioned in the first paragraph. I personally went through all of them.
Why are we jealous?
- Fear of loss
- Suspicion of or anger about a perceived betrayal
- Low self-esteem and sadness over perceived loss
- Uncertainty and loneliness
- Fear of losing an important person to another
- Distrust (maybe not because of the second person, but the ‘rival’)
No matter how strong we are, we all have weak points and there will always be someone who will know them and intentionally or unintentionally they will use what they know to make us weak. This will probably give us the fear of loss or/and low self-confidence.
Myself, I am a quite strong person, but when it comes to the people I love I just have a constant fear of abandonment, because I would never want to loose them.
Don’t we all have that? Yes, we do. And it’s normal.
Keep in mind to not be over jealous though, because it’s not good for you and for the relation either, whether it is an romantic relation, friendship or family relation.