I know..

I know I make mistakes..

I know I can be a pain in the ass at times..

I know I can be annoying..

I know I nag a lot..

I know I piss you off..

I know I exaggerate..

I know I act like a kid sometimes..

I know I am obsessively jealous..

 

.. but it’s because I love you. I make mistakes because I haven’t been through the same things again and it takes me a while until.. not get used, but learn the things you like and the things you don’t. It takes me a while until I understand how you would like me to be. It takes me a while until I understand you completely. Because believe me, it is very hard to just fully change yourself and the way you’ve been. I am willing to do that, I am doing that already, but be patient. I am a pain in the ass at times, just because I’m still learning. I am annoying, just because I’m still learning. I nag a lot, because I am a girl. I want to know everything.. where you are, with who, what you’re doing. It’s something normal, because you want the same thing. So if you think I nag you, try to understand me.. I just care too much about you. I piss you off, oh yes I do. I piss everyone off, but if it is because of small, unimportant things, then just forget about them.. it’s something normal, you know? However, if I piss you off because of bigger stuff, talk to me about them. You know that whenever you tel me something, it doesn’t happen again. I just need you to guide me, to be there for me, to support me.. and until now, you were.. always. I exaggerate. I KNOW! I swear I know! But I just can’t control it. I over think, I exaggerate, I imagine stuff.. that’s just me. I’ve been trying to control it, or cut it down, but it doesn’t work, so just try to put up with me, because I don’t do it a lot and anyway, it’s never a major thing, so it’s okay. I act like a kid, because I wanna be treated like a kid sometimes. I wanna be pampered, taken care of (oh you do it a looooot).. I just wanna cuddle with you. If I could, I would hug you for the rest of my life.. just hug you.. just hold you in my arms forever, because when I’m in your arms I feel so safe. When I’m in your arms I feel protected.. like no one and nothing can touch me and do something bad to me. And last, but maybe the most important point, my obsessive jealousy. This is not because of you, it’s not because I don’t trust you, because I do.. I actually trust you so much, that if you told me outside is raining, even if I see the sun, I would believe you. I trust you. I blindly trust you. However, I don’t trust the others.. I don’t trust those girls.. I know that most of them couldn’t care less if the guy has a girlfriend, if they like him, they would go for him. This happened to a lot of my friends and seeing them how they suffer, I just go crazy. I fear abandonment. I’m afraid of you finding someone else. Although I’m self-confident.. and God, I have a lot of it.. when it comes to you, I just become weak. This is because I love you a lot. Unfortunately you will never know for sure how much I do, because it’s impossible to describe, but I hope that by the time God takes me away from this life, you will have a tiny idea of how much you mean to me. I don’t want anyone messing with my man and I told you that if I ever see it happening, I will become like a wild animal that is defending it’s teritory.

Why?

It’s because I love you.. like no one ever did and like no one will ever do it. I breath you. I need you. You’re my one and only and you will always be this way. You’re my soulmate. You’re my other half. You are the one I will live the rest of my life with.

I love you, Eisa.

 

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